1000 Ways to Die (season 2)
The TV show 1000 Ways to Die aired on the cable channel Spike.
| Season 2 | Episodes | Premiere date | Finale date |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 12 | May 14, 2008 | April 5, 2009 |
| 2 | 12 | December 6, 2009 | February 24, 2010 |
| 3 (2010) | 42 | August 3, 2010 | February 29, 2012 |
| 3 (2011) | – | – | – |
| 3 (2012) | – | – | – |
| 4 | 8 | March 12, 2012 | July 15, 2012 |
Season 2
Season 2 was set to premiere on December 9, 2009 at 10 PM (EST), but a special airing of the season premiere episode was shown on December 6, 2009 at 12:30 AM (EST). The pattern in which the segments were shown remained the same, but the real-life scenarios of people escaping death shown at the ending were dropped to make room for more death segments. The deaths are slightly more graphic in this season, and "Idiot Alerts" (in the same font as the "Way to Die #" and nicknames descriptions are) were added to deaths from moronic and ill-advised stunts that could easily be imitated in real life. Another change is that under "Location", only the city is told, not the city and the specific location as it was in Season 1. Also, the female models that were featured in the opening and coming up bumpers were removed as well. The wording of the opening disclaimer was changed slightly from Season 1:
"WARNING: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic."
"Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted."
"YOU WILL DIE!" (this time, the emphasis is on the word "WILL").
Episode 13: Death On Arrival
Originally aired December 7, 2009.
Title reference: A slight reworking of Dead on arrival or D.O.A.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 948 | Titty Titty Bang Bang | June 6, 2006 | San Diego, CA | A woman decides to become a stripper after months of doing low-level temp work and not earning enough to support her dreams of being an actress. Thinking that her breasts are too small for her to be a good stripper, she decides to get large breast implants to compensate. However, the plastic surgeon who gave her the implants was unlicensed and the implants she got were substandard water balloons and filled with water containing dissolved oxygen instead of silicon. While on a plane, the atmospheric pressure (along with most likely a weak pressurization system on the plane itself) causes the implants to expand and explode, blowing out the woman's chest and causing a huge explosion of masses of gore and meat that splatters all over the plane and covering much of the passengers in her blood, while the woman's lifeless body, who has already died immediately after the explosion due to blood loss and heart exposure, is still on her seat, head on the headrest, and bloodied. |
| 714 | Forked-Up | July 13, 2006 | Chester, PA | Two men under the influence of marijuana decide to play on a forklift. One drives while the other is pulled on a platform behind him attached to a rope, but when the rope gets caught under the tire of another vehicle, the rope constricts around the rider so tightly that it severs him in half, much to his friend's horror. |
| 590 | UninTented | June 15, 2009 | Jerome, AZ | During a hike in the desert, a nymphomaniac dumps her boyfriend on their first date after discovering that he cannot satisfy her. She spends the rest of the time masturbating inside her tent until a freak wind sweeps the tent into the air with her still inside. After flying for a while, the tent crashes into the roof of a shed, fracturing the woman's skull. The owner who discovers the tent on his porch opens it to find her cadaver. |
| 123 | Tali-Bombed | April 1, 2005 | Patna, Iraq | Two terrorists plan to blow up a police station with a suitcase bomb filled with Semtex using a GPS timer. They set the timer for one hour from one of their watches, but forget to reset it for daylight saving time, causing the bomb to instantly blow up on them. |
| 515 | Vike-O-Done | c. AD 1011 | Hvarslo, Norway | A Viking decapitates his rival and swings the severed head in victory. However, the teeth of the head accidentally strike his thigh, causing death by blood poisoning ten days later after the infection becomes lethal, sending him to the Valhalla after he dies peacefully, having accepted his own fate. |
| 444 | Deadliest Munch | June 7, 2008 | Stockton, CA | A lesbian comes home to find that her lover burned their dinner for the evening. To lighten the mood, the woman's lover reveals that she is wearing a candy bra and G-string. The lesbian begins eating the G-string, but it snaps, lodging some pieces of candy into her windpipe and then she chokes to death on it. |
| 913 | Dead Meat-Eorite | May 11, 2006 | Woodland Hills, CA | At an outdoor pool party, a man tries to make friends by telling them about Christianity, but is unsuccessful. Later, while he is standing beside the pool to talk to a girl, a stray meteorite descending towards Earth strikes him through the chest, killing him. |
Episode 14: Death Bites!
Originally aired December 9, 2009.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 451 | Ass Phyxiated | April 6, 2005 | Omaha, NE | A travelling salesman with a fetish for fat women meets an extremely overweight woman, seduces her and manages to get her to have sex with him. During the session, she passes out on top of the man after climaxing and, being unable to escape, he suffocates. The woman, however, regains consciousness and is disappointed to find the man already dead. |
| 103 | Work of Fart | March 3, 2005 | Boston, MA | To prepare for a fraternity farting contest, a college student hires a flatulence trainer known for his unconventional methods. The trainer applies a lit blowtorch to the student's buttocks and is killed when the student's gases set him on fire. |
| 76 | Crash-endo | September 9, 1996 | New York, NY | A talented but clumsy violinist who worships her hands rolls on top of her ankle and falls down a flight of stairs. Refusing to break the fall with her hands, she slams her head against the wall when she reaches the bottom and dies of a skull fracture. |
| 505 | Vermin-ated | August 4, 2003 | Macon, GA | A convicted robber on the run from the police hides in a drainage pipe and gets stuck. Later that night, rats appear and start eating him alive, starting from his eyeball and eventually eating their way into his brain. |
| 105 | French Fried | December 23, 1988 | Milwaukee, WI | A French maid performs for a dying elderly millionaire in bed who is hooked up to a respirator to bring oxygen into his body. The maid plugs Christmas lights in and wraps them around herself, which causes the house's circuits to overload and the power to go out. The respirator stops operating, and the man dies from lack of oxygen. |
| 803 | Bomb-Bino | June 27, 1994 | Palermo, Italy | An Italian man who made the mistake of borrowing money from the mafia and was unable to pay them back is forced to dig his own grave as two mobsters, ignoring his pleas, have a picnic nearby. While digging, the man unearths a World War II fragmentation grenade, which he throws at the mobsters' picnic area, not knowing what it is. The grenade explodes in the mobsters' faces, killing them instantly, but the man is spared because the mound of dirt he created from digging acted as a barrier. |
| 186 | Die-Agra | November 4, 2001 | Darien, CT | A woman in a failing marriage secretly grinds up three Viagra pills and puts them into her husband's beer in an attempt to "jump start" his sex drive. The man then gets a call from his mistress and takes three more Viagra pills before going to her house. The mistress later drops another three pills into his beer. During sex with his mistress, too much blood rushes to his penis because of the 900 mg overdose of Viagra, depriving his brain of blood and, after achieving climax in the session, he eventually collapses dead on top of his mistress's body, much to her dismay. |
Episode 15: Up With Death
Originally aired December 16, 2009.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 485 | M-R-Ouch! | May 4, 2005 | Peoria, IL | A night nurse, who is an ex-Army medic, is mugged by a gun-toting drug addict during her shift. She tries to knock him unconscious by giving him prescription drugs, but they are ineffective. The addict soon tries to rape the nurse, and she lures him to an MRI room by stripping. She then turns it on to disarm the addict, but he has a steel plate in his skull which the magnetic force of the MRI machine attracts. The man flies into the machine, hitting his head on its top, and dies of brain damage from the massive blow, much to the relief of the nurse. |
| 229 | Succu Offed | July 19, 2008 | Tucson, AZ | Two American lonely stoners with a large collection of cacti return from the Arizona Desert with a stolen Saguaro cactus spear. They celebrate by drinking a brew of mezcal and peyote. In a disturbing shared hallucination, however, the Saguaro tells them they will be punished for stealing it, causing them to feel remorse and guilt before they start fleeing in panic. One falls on an Agave plant and gets impaled through the heart, killing him due to a cardiac tamponade, while the other runs head-on into another Saguaro and its needles impale him through one eye and into his brain, killing him due to brain damage. |
| 432 | Coming & Going | September 2, 1997 | Palmdale, CA | A movie make-up artist rides home with her boyfriend on the back of his motorcycle. The vibrations of the bike arouse the woman to the point of orgasm. She soon forgets she is on the motorcycle, letting go and tumbling onto the road, breaking many bones and dying of internal organ damage. |
| 150 | Coffin Nailed | January 13, 1989 | Cold Spring, KY | A necrophiliac working in a morgue has sex with a corpse, but forgets to secure the casket it is in before driving it to a funeral home. When a car comes out in front of him, the man makes a sudden stop, which flings the casket forward and hits the driver in the back of the head, severing his brainstem. |
| 89 | Greased is the Word | May 17, 2001 | St. Louis, MO | A would-be robber plans to rob a jewelry store. He puts a pair of pantyhose on his face as a mask, which renders him unable to see clearly. He wanders into a gun shop instead, where the customers and clerks – all legally armed and acting in self-defense – shoot him multiple times until he dies from a fatal shot to the heart. |
| 110 | Blades of Gory | January 18, 2009 | Halifax, Canada | A frustrated one-time hockey prospect playing in a city league gets in a fight with an opponent into a gladiator duel-like scenario during a game, and pushes him on the ice. As he falls, the opponent's ice skate slashes across his aggressor's throat, severing the carotid artery and killing him from excessive blood loss. |
| 611 | Boris Bititoff | June 9, 1991 | Chernobyl, Ukraine | A zoophilic soldier misses his chance to have sex with his female colleague, so he tries to have sex with a raccoon instead. While he is trying to get the raccoon to perform fellatio, the raccoon bites his penis off, and he soon dies from excessive blood loss caused by massive exsanguination, much to the horror of his colleagues. |
Episode 16: Putting a Happy Face on Death
Originally aired December 30, 2009.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 712 | Rub-A-Dubbed Out | August 27, 2004 | Tulsa, OK | A man who has stolen a bag of groceries from a blind pregnant woman hides in a car wash to escape police. The car wash owner runs the daily maintenance check, and the thief becomes disoriented by the chaos inside the car wash. During his struggle to find the exit, he impales his head on a 1,000 PSI spray nozzle, which fills his skull with water. The force of the water pressure inside his skull eventually causes his head to explode. |
| 616 | Cock-A-Doodle-Die | May 19, 2007 | Santa Fe, NM | A man cheats in a cock fighting competition by putting razor blades on his rooster's feet. His rooster kills his opponent's rooster all but instantly, and his opponent notices the razor blades. He lets the crowd know about it, turning them into an angry mob. Just as they are about to attack him, the cheater's own rooster's razors slice his jugular vein open, causing the cheater to die from massive exsanguination. |
| 534 | Chucked Up | August 2, 2008 | Miami, FL | A married woman is acting out a bondage fantasy with her husband through a live webcam when a burglar breaks into the house and begins stealing things. Because her mouth is duct-taped and she is handcuffed to her office chair, the woman can neither escape, stop the burglar, nor scream for help. After taking her laptop, he leans over her face to thank her for making his job easy before running off with her things. Smelling the thief's extremely bad breath, she vomits, but the duct tape prevents it from exiting her mouth. Instead, it goes down her windpipe into her lungs, drowning her. (This is one of the few deaths in which the bad guy gets away unscathed.) |
| 332 | Little Person Big Death | March 19, 2007 | Houston, TX | Two dwarf professional wrestlers battle for a crowd and are paid large sums of money. They celebrate by getting drunk and having sex with some women. The drunk dwarves destroy everything in their hotel room in an effort to impress the women. They finish off by running head-on into a wall, trying to break it. One breaks through, but the other hits a part of the wall supported by a 2x4 stud, and the veins inside his head burst, resulting in a fatal combination of brain swelling and bleeding. |
| 254 | Booby-Zapped | July 12, 2009 | Tucson, AZ | Paranoid to the point of paralysis and insomnia over current events, a man places booby-traps around his house to protect himself. To get some much-needed sleep, he takes some sleeping pills, but the pills come with the side-effect of sleepwalking. Later that night, the man sleepwalks to his refrigerator to get some food, managing to escape every trap he placed along the way (a flamethrower, poisoned darts, etc.). When he sits down to eat, however, a laser-operated shotgun is triggered and shoots him in the head, killing him in his sleep. |
| 234 | ReToaded | September 6, 2003 | Huacaña, Peru | Two men create a video diary of their world search for the ultimate high. They end up in Peru looking for the Colorado River toad, but pick up the yellow-banded poison dart frog instead. They lick the toad's secretions, believing this will get them high, but the toad's poison paralyzes them and shuts down their hearts. |
| 114 | Vegged Out | August 13, 2004 | Naperville, IL | After landing a date with a well-endowed bicyclist, a gardener picks a zucchini as an aid on which to practice fellatio. While walking around with the vegetable in her mouth, she steps on the blade of a hoe. Its handle flies up and hits the zucchini, which lodges in the woman's throat and chokes her to death. |
Episode 17: Bringing In The Dead
Originally aired January 6, 2010.
Title reference: Spoofs the popular hymn Bringing In the Sheaves
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 528 | D. U. Die | August 4, 2000 | Akron, OH | Two drunk men go for a drive in a station wagon. While driving at 60 miles per hour, the driver starts to get carsick. He leans out the window to vomit, causing the car to swerve toward the edge of the street, and is decapitated when his head slams into a mailbox. |
| 146 | Belly'd Up | June 18, 2001 | Ann Arbor, MI | While practicing for an upcoming competition, a belly dancer wraps a scarf around her neck and throws the tail end of it into the air, where it catches on a moving ceiling fan and strangles her. |
| 217 | Suck Her Punched | October 4, 2007 | Gary, IN | A rapist lurking in the alley behind a boxing gym attacks a woman in a blue cocktail dress, not knowing that his target is actually a male boxer who cross-dresses to calm down from his workouts and gets extremely angry whenever someone calls him a "lady." The boxer defends himself by punching the rapist with a powerful right cross to his temple. The would-be rapist's brain compresses and bleeds out inside his skull, causing him to pass out and die due to blood loss and severe brain damage. |
| 177 | Jack 'n' Croaked | October 10, 1911 | Lynchburg, TN | Whiskey distiller Jack Daniel samples the taste of his family brew and keeps asking his workers to perfect it. He gets drunk in the process, but finally makes the perfect batch. He decides to update his family recipe, which is stored in a safe, but is too drunk to remember the combination. In a drunken rage, he kicks the safe, and damages his big toe, breaking off the toenail. The cut soon becomes infected, and he dies of sepsis a fortnight later. |
| 657 | Dead Heat | February 25, 1998 | Syracuse, NY | A woman is cooking for her new boyfriend and forces him to smell some exotic, imported spices, not knowing that he has asthma. The asthmatic's inhaler soon runs out of medicine, and he dies of a massive asthma attack. |
| 96 | Poi Vey | May 18, 1989 | Honolulu, HI | An Orthodox Jew who is obsessed with a hula dancer decides to stalk her, but his attempts to woo her by leaving poi kreplach on her doorstep, serenading her on a ukulele, and taking up surfing are all in vain. After one last attempt to romance her fails, he drowns his sorrows in mai-tais. In an inebriated state, he takes part in a torch ceremony by dancing, but soon catches on fire and burns to death. |
| 412-A | Re-tired (Note: second death to be given this name) | April 27, 2001 | Scottsdale, AZ | An elderly man goes through his daily ritual of getting into his classic Chevy car and reminiscing about his life while sitting in the driver's seat, but one day, he dies. At the same time, a gangster robs a gas station. The old man's car's emergency brakes slip, and it starts rolling down a hill while the gangster is crossing the street, running him over. |
Episode 18: Gratefully Dead
Originally aired January 13, 2010.
Title reference: A pun on the folk-rock band Grateful Dead.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 599 | Mercury in Uranus | July 28, 1979 | Norman, OK | A frequent hospital patient who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his anus returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, he finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his anus. When startled by the doctor, the man jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, killing him from internal bleeding and fatal mercury poisoning. |
| 297 | A Turn For the Purse | October 9, 2003 | Dallas, TX | A former stripper living in a suburban town who quit after landing a rich husband has her purse stolen by a mugger on a bicycle, who threatens her with a screwdriver. A nearby man sees the mugger and goes after him. The mugger speeds away, but hits his bike on a rock and flies onto a lawn, where his screwdriver impales his heart, killing him in seconds. The stripper then takes her purse back and calmly walks away. |
| 102 | Dead Weight | March 9, 2002 | Newton, MA | A drunk weightlifter makes a bet with his workout partner that he can lift a 350-pound I-beam he found at a construction site, but ends up dropping it on his chest after losing his grip, crushing his windpipe, which kills him from suffocation and internal bleeding. |
| 310 | Cult Evaded | September 20, 2000 | Encino, CA | An orphaned 17-year old teenage girl, who has been in foster homes for most of her life, is taken in by a couple of extremist Christian foster parents. On her first day living with them, they are immediately convinced that she is possessed by the Devil because of her tattoos, piercings, dark make-up, and interest in the Goth subculture (including having a boyfriend who is Goth), so they and two friends from their church try to exorcise her by tying her to the ground inside an enclosed tent and burning a large amount of coal and incense to rid her of the alleged demons inside her, where they begin to torture her and even attempt to murder her. The exorcism goes horribly wrong, however, as the coal and incense create more smoke inside the tent, and everyone (except for the girl, who was so low to the ground that she had a layer of fresh air above her) drops dead from poisoning due to them inhaling excessive amounts of benzopyrene and carbon monoxide. The girl then unties herself and joyfully heads off to the mall, happy and relieved over their deaths, while the dead couple and their two friends go to Hell. |
| 463 | Smoke-A-Doped | October 14, 1997 | Newark, DE | A man refuses to have sex with his sex addict girlfriend unless she quits smoking. The woman finds a box of nicotine patches in her bathroom and puts a month's worth of them all over her body, thinking they will make her break her addiction overnight. However, the excess of nicotine overloads her system and kills her of cardiac arrest. |
| 655 | Two Stoopid | March 15, 2005 | Portland, ME and Reno, NV | This segment features two deaths in one, and both take place at the same time but in different states: 1. A man attempts to bungee jump off a cherry picker. However, the rope he's using is too long and he lands hard on the pavement below, breaking his ribs and causing instant death. 2. A man attempts to create a new "sport" by tying a mattress to his friend's truck and holding on to it. The rope holding the mattress comes loose and the man falls off the truck at high speed, hitting the desert ground and breaking most of his ribs, dying from internal bleeding. |
| 204 | Cream-ated | August 20, 2008 | La Crosse, WI | A man who suffered mental and sexual abuse from his sadistic uncle in a cow costume develops a fetish for drinking milk straight from a cow's udders. On this particular occasion, he is kicked in the head when he accidentally bites the cow's teat, and dies from brain damage when his brain bleeds out inside his skull. |
Episode 19: Come On, Get Deathy
Originally aired January 20, 2010.
Title reference: Spoofs The Partridge Family theme song "C'mon, Get Happy".
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 113 | Tanks for Nothing | December 7, 2006 | St. Augustine, FL | A devout Buddhist woman meditates inside a sensory deprivation tank, only for a Florida water moccasin to slither into the tank because of its warmth and bite her, killing her with its venom. |
| 322 | The Chokes On You | June 21, 2002 | Nashville, TN | A dwarf dates an abusive lover who wants him to make money. He tries to practice for a musical stand-up comedy act with several jokes, none of which she finds funny. After watching him test his hackneyed jokes numerous times in front of her, the bored lover finally gets fed up and hits him in the face with her purse, causing his harmonica to go down his throat and suffocate him while his girlfriend laughs, thinking his attempts at breathing (which, because of the harmonica, come out as an eerie 2-tone medley) is part of the act, and she does not realize he is choking to death on the harmonica until it is too late. |
| 111 | Back Broke Mountain | October 29, 2003 | Los Angeles, CA | An unhappily married couple preparing for divorce go for a walk near a cliff. The husband plans on killing his wife to collect her insurance by taking a picture of themselves with his phone and then shoving her over the edge. As they are about to take the photo and he tries to shove her, she tries to fight him off in self-defense. The ensuing tussle leads to the husband's plan backfiring on him as she accidentally tosses the husband off the cliff. He dies after breaking many of his bones. |
| 120 | Grateful Bed | November 7, 2008 | Hollywood, CA | A wannabe musician who is about to be evicted evades his incredibly angry landlord by hiding behind his Murphy bed. After the landlord leaves, the musician finds that he is stuck behind the bed, and because he soundproofed his apartment with empty egg cartons, no one can hear his screams for help. Eventually, he suffocates. |
| 479 | Fore Head | June 19, 1998 | Waterloo, IA | A thief hides behind a "Virtual Golf" display in an arcade to wait for closing time. Bored and impatient, he cuts a hole in the display screen to see outside. As he is looking, someone hits a golf ball through the hole, which strikes the thief in the forehead, fatally fracturing his skull. |
| 333 | Booty Trapped | January 17, 2007 | Paso Robles, CA | A gold digger married to an elderly millionaire locks herself in a secret room to play around in the money she skimmed from his accounts after her husband refuses to raise her allowance due to the current recession. One day, while she is frolicking in her ill-gotten gains, a small earthquake rocks the room, causing heavy money bags to fall onto her, knocking her unconscious and suffocating her. |
| 412-B | S**t Canned | May 2, 2005 | Sioux Falls, SD | A jealous man attending the wedding of the woman he loved (who is getting married to another man) plans to get his revenge by ruining her day by paying a waiter to slip an extra-strength laxative into her drink. The waiter, after having a pang of conscience, has remorse for what he did and slips the laxative into the man's drink instead. During the toast, the man downs the spiked drink of champagne and rushes to the bathroom. After finding the only stall occupied by a couple having sex who refuse to leave, he relieves himself in a trash can outside, but has trouble getting out. The trash can tips and sends the man rolling down a rough hill, where he repeatedly hits his head. He dies of multiple bone fractures, spinal injuries, skull trauma, and brain damage by the time the trash can stops rolling. |
Episode 20: Death Watch
Originally aired January 27, 2010.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 238 | Washed And Fried | September 28, 2001 | Simi Valley, CA | Desperate to make extra money, five strippers pose as college cheerleaders offering car washes. As they are washing an elderly widower's dirty van, the exposed cord of a power buffer gets wet and electrocutes all five women. |
| 300 | Bad Hair Day | August 14, 1956 | Los Angeles, CA | A woman on a double date refuses to let her boyfriend make out with her, fearing her bouffant will be ruined. Finally, the boyfriend gets frustrated with her and the two step outside to smoke cigarettes, with the woman's boyfriend lighting hers for her. However, the flame from his lighter sets fire to her hair, saturated with hairspray. The fire spreads to her scalp, burning her brain. |
| 539 | Micro-Whacked | October 21, 1992 | Pomona, CA | A full-blown drug addict gets high after taking meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP all at once. During his high, the man decides that his lava lamp is flowing too slowly and puts it in a microwave to speed up the wax. Eventually, the lamp explodes, scalding him with hot wax and lodging broken glass into his face and brain. (This segment may be based off a very similar incident that happened in 2004 when someone died from heating up a lava lamp on their stovetop.) |
| 88 | Pussy Whipped | May 12, 2000 | San Francisco, CA | A man who is antipathic and allergic to cats grudgingly agrees to look after his girlfriend's cat while she is away. He drinks heavily to pass the time and dull the frustration of his girlfriend giving more attention to her cat than him, but only gets ever more embittered. He then tries to kick the cat, but the rug he is standing on slides and he hits his head on a fireplace rail. As he loses consciousness, the man rolls over, lands face-first in the cat's water dish and drowns from breathing in the water. |
| 457 | Blend-Dead | September 19, 1998 | Austin, TX | A woman tries to achieve longevity by eating healthy foods grown in her own garden blended together in a smoothie. Unknown to her, her landlord has been spraying rat poison in her garden when she is not home. Ignorant of what the landlord has been doing, she consumes the poisoned produce, which thins her blood and makes her increasingly ill. Foolishly believing she needs more smoothies to regain her health, she continues to consume her poison-laced produce. Later, she sprawls across a medicine ball, causing all her blood to rush to her head until she eventually dies of a brain hemorrhage. |
| 116 | Shanks for the Memories | June 19, 2009 | Atlanta, GA | A disgruntled "has-been" golf star and her husband spend their days getting drunk, fighting, and insulting each other at public golf courses. In the middle of a heated argument, the couple loses focus and crashes their golf cart. The cart rolls down a hill, crushing both of them. |
| 142 | Snake Du Jour | August 21, 2001 | San Jose, CA | The head chef of a black market restaurant that serves dangerous and endangered animals is bitten on the cheek by a king cobra that he was attempting to prepare into one of his dishes. The venom of the snake eventually shuts down his nervous system. |
Episode 21: Waking Up Dead
Originally aired February 3, 2010.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 662 | Phone Boned | May 10, 2005 | Kaisertown, NY | A woman goes to an acupuncturist to cure her addiction to texting. While she is lying on her back during the treatment, the woman's cell phone begins to receive multiple texts. She tries to reach for it, but ends up falling to the floor face-down. The acupuncture needles are lodged inside her body, impaling her and killing her after one of the needles impales her heart. |
| 521 | Toilet Rolled | August 5, 2006 | Kingman, AZ | A functioning alcoholic steamroller operator drinks while driving his vehicle, then leaves to use a port-a-potty. He forgets to set the hydraulic brake on the steamroller, which rolls down the small hill and crushes the port-a-potty with the man still inside it; as a result, his steamroller squeezes out the man's internal organs through his mouth, as if he were a tube of toothpaste, and crushes him completely to death. |
| 559 | Mile Die Club | October 2, 1997 | Clarkdale, AZ | An abusive man trying to stop his soon-to-be ex-wife from leaving him climbs into the cargo bay of his wife's plane (which he was easily able to do, as airport security prior to the September 11 attacks was not as tight). The atmospheric temperature drops as the plane rises, and he eventually dies of extreme hypothermia and asphyxia. |
| 140 | Bitch Zapped | June 16, 2001 | Tampa, FL | An extremely shrewish and drunk woman harshly criticizes her long-suffering husband's lawn mowing and, after getting frustrated, decides to finish the job herself to show him how he should do it. The woman runs over the cord to the arc welder of his car and is electrocuted, much to the delight of her husband (who then takes a sip from his beer, looks up, and says, "There is a God.") |
| 311 | Texas Fold 'Em | March 7, 1999 | Silver City, NM | A junkyard owner cheats in a Texas hold 'em poker game with mob-connected players in his car junkyard. They soon notice and angrily chase the man outside, where he hides in a wrecked minivan. The mechanical claw on one of the machines clamps onto the van, breaking his leg (the sound of the machinery drowns out his cries), and carries him to a car crusher, which crushes him to death. |
| 168 | Written Offed | April 28, 2009 | Glendale, CA | An immigrant military-store owner who is facing foreclosure is confronted by a banker ready to repossess his business. After he signs a contract, the owner throws the banker's pen in anger. The banker demands a new pen, pointing to one in the display case, which is actually a gun that looks like a pen. The owner tries to explain this to the banker, but is ignored. The banker inadvertently aims the gun at himself and shoots himself in the head. |
| 817 | Ball 'N Pain | May 1, 2002 | San Francisco, CA | Two men steal a zorb ball and play around in it, but are killed after rolling down a mountain near Los Angeles at 45 miles per hour (72 km/h), repeatedly hitting their skulls and breaking many of their bones. |
Episode 22: You're Dead! LOL!
Originally aired February 10, 2010.
Title reference: Online chat terminology.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 198 | Samurai Death Squad | July 17, 2009 | Los Angeles, CA | An underground group of Japanese-American men and women called the "Samurai Death Squad" try to modernize the art of bushido. The men challenge each other's courage by engaging in modern-day jousting matches, using tuner cars and spears while the women stand around in skimpy schoolgirl outfits sucking on lollipops (save for one who dresses as a geisha and acts as a referee). The object of the game is to get as close to their opponent as possible without actually causing injury. One of the men gets his shoulder cut, causing him to have trouble holding his spear. Though only intending to slice him back, he accidentally impales his opponent through his eye and all the way out the back of his head. |
| 856 | Shafted | January 8, 1992 | Fort Worth, TX | A mean-spirited, claustrophobic office manager gets in an elevator with some of her employees. However, the elevator gets stuck. In a desperate attempt to get out, the other employees pry open the doors to let her out. As she is climbing out, the hydraulic brakes fail and the elevator proceeds to descend, crushing the woman's abdomen and bisecting her. |
| 343 | Smoked | July 1, 2004 | Idaho Falls, ID | A teenager and his friend smoke on his porch, and his friend repeatedly asks him for cigarettes, not paying up for his own. Eventually, the other boy gets fed up and loads some cigarettes into a shotgun shell, and fires them at his friend's face as a practical joke. Unfortunately, the cigarettes get lodged in his friend's face and brain at top speed. |
| 413 | Just Plane Dead | July 19, 2001 | San Pedro, CA | A former pilot and current public nuisance flying an RC glider eventually flies it into the direction of the sun, losing view of it. It later comes back and into the back of the pilot, impaling him through the chest. |
| 108 | Exhaustdead | October 19, 1995 | Orlando, FL | A woman secretly dates another man to escape her abusive ex-boyfriend. When he finds out, the ex drives to the restaurant where the woman is meeting the other man and plans to pelt them with his paintball gun. He backs his car against a pile of trash, which blocks the exhaust pipe. The exhaust comes out through the air conditioning vents, and he eventually dies when high levels of carbon monoxide fill his car and poison him. |
| 227 | Ruffed Up | August 11, 2004 | St. Paul, MN | An unemployed woman desperate for another job reluctantly takes a position as a dog walker, despite her intense hatred for the animals. On her first day, the dogs drag her across the ground. She cannot break free from the many leashes tied to her wrist and collides with a tree head-first, damaging her temporal lobe. |
| 115 | Lady & The Trampled | August 19, 2001 | Sturgis, SD | A drunken, misogynistic biker pulls off a female dancer's top at a bar during the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and another dancer in the troupe defends her friend by knocking him to the ground. The biker is then trampled to death by a group of drunk men who rush to the stage to check out the woman who had just been stripped. |
Episode 23: Dead to Rights
Originally aired February 17, 2010.
Title derived from: A popular video game series of the same name.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 118 | Blown Job | April 21, 2001 | La Jolla, CA | A woman who is addicted to energy drinks attempts to get a promotion at her job, but her sexist (and unbeknownst to her, bisexual) boss will only give her the promotion if she performs fellatio on him. She refuses (even though she has tolerated his other acts of sexual harassment) and, in disgust, guzzles down multiple energy drinks. When she sees a new male employee get the promotion by doing what she would not, she immediately gets angry and furiously confronts her boss. Her anger, combined with extreme amounts of caffeine, causes her to go into cardiac arrest from a caffeine overdose. |
| 355 | Anger Damagement | August 6, 2002 | Lawrence, KS | A group of friends gather at one's house to watch professional wrestling. The new guy, who met one of the friends at an anger management class, starts picking fights with the guys. He then runs headfirst into the widescreen television, embedding glass shards in his face, breaking his neck, and electrocuting himself. |
| 235 | Wrin-Killed | June 8, 2008 | Pittsburgh, PA | A purse snatcher attempts to steal an elderly woman's purse. The woman, however, has three decades of experience in Taekwondo, and beats him severely before crushing his windpipe as impressed passers-by watch in amusement. |
| 98 | Huffington Toast | March 17, 2008 | Seattle, WA | Three huffers get high off aerosol fumes from spray paint cans. Later, they find jars of solvent, and one decides to pour it on himself, attempting to get higher. The liquid evaporates quickly, absorbs his body heat and in an attempt to get warm, he asks his friends for a lighter. When one hands him a lit match, his clothes quickly catch fire and he burns to death. His friends run off, and are later arrested for manslaughter. |
| 157 | Hydro-Co-Done | July 26, 2003 | Las Vegas, NV | A couple get high in their hot tub after overdosing on painkillers and drinking champagne. The temperature gauge malfunctions, and the temperature of the water rises to the boiling point, but they are both too intoxicated to react and are boiled alive. |
| 218 | Samu-Fry | September 18, 2001 | Tustin, CA | Two Japanese-American teenagers attempt to engage in a katana battle after watching a samurai movie and playing samurai video games. When they take their fight outside, one of the teenagers attempts to land a deadly strike on his friend, but his katana hits a low-hanging power line, electrocuting him. |
| 236 | Screwged | December 24, 1988 | Lansing, MI | An elderly Scrooge attacks a group of carolers gathered outside his house during a hailstorm by throwing rotten fruit at them. As the carolers run off, a large hailstone hits the man on the head, fracturing his skull. |
Episode 24: Dead on Dead
Originally aired February 24, 2010.
| Death # | "Event" Name | Date of Death | Location | Circumstances of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 101 | Weenie Roast | July 20, 2001 | Climax, KS | A group of men and women are on a camping trip after spending the day at a Christian retreat and play truth or dare. A man is dared by one of the women to urinate on an electric fence. The man declines, though another man follows through with the dare, but is electrocuted when his urine makes contact with the fence. |
| 202 | Reef Stew | June 14, 1981 | Fijian Islet | A Fijian tribe in the South Pacific cannot find meat during typhoon season, so they are forced to omit it from their diet, only to grow hungrier and start to suffer from extreme starvation as the days continue. One night, two drug smugglers wash up on their island in search of provisions, to the delight of the tribe. The men are beaten unconscious, stripped naked, boiled alive for five hours, killing them due to the severe second-degree burns as well as a severe liquefactive necrosis of their skin, and finally the two men are eaten by the tribe, satisfied because they've finally found meat. |
| 889 | Fiddle Licked | February 8, 2008 | Washington, D.C. | A notorious Middle-Eastern terrorist poses as a rug salesman out on a date. Meanwhile, a CIA agent poses as a violinist at the same restaurant, attempting to kill the man with an experimental laser gun hidden in her violin case. The gamma rays from the gun succeed in causing thermal damage on a molecular level to the terrorist's brain, completely liquefying and melting his brain and killing him, much to the satisfaction of the CIA agent. |
| 224 | Snakey Breaky Neck | March 2, 1987 | Manaus, Brazil | A spoiled rich man vacations in the jungle with a tour guide. Ignoring her warnings, he lies down for a nap, and wakes up to find tarantulas all over his body. In horror, he runs out of his tent and leans against a tree. A boa constrictor then wraps around his neck, strangling him. |
| 540 | Beer Bashed | April 24, 1998 | Malibu, CA | A rugby team throws a beach party after losing another game. One of the players gets drunk and throws a keg of beer into a bonfire in addition to bullying some of his team members. After a while, the rest of the team abandons him because of his behavior. Shortly after they leave, the keg explodes and the shrapnel from the keg cuts through his body. |
| 321 | Bad Assid | September 21, 2005 | Downers Grove, IL | Four friends are bored on a rainy day, until a fifth friend shows up with some LSD. One girl, having recently broken up with her boyfriend, takes two hits. The quintet begin to swim around in an empty pool, thinking it is filled with water. The girl who took two hits dives in, and dies of internal hemorrhaging when she bellyflops against the bottom of the pool. |
| 176 | Tree Mugger | April 7, 2001 | Flathead Forest, MT | A nature enthusiast chains himself to a tree in protest to it being cut down. A grizzly bear later shows up, bites into the man's stomach, and pulls out his intestines before mauling him to death. |
References