Jaws Wired Shut

"Jaws Wired Shut"
The Simpsons episode
File:Homer doh2.png
Episode no.	Season 13
Directed by	Nancy Kruse
Written by	Matt Selman
Original air dates	January 27, 2002
Episode features
Couch gag	The living room is black and white and Homer is portrayed as the Little Tramp.

"Jaws Wired Shut" is the ninth episode of the thirteenth season of The Simpsons.

Synopsis

While the Simpsons are relaxing outside their home, they see the Springfield gay pride parade passing by. Many homosexual-themed floats pass by, including one with gay dogs, which intrigues Santa's Little Helper, which freaks Homer out. He drags his family (and SLH) away and they go to the Springfield Googolplex to watch a flick, name "Shenani-Goats".

However, the movie never seems to start, what with the number of commercials, public service announcements, movie trailers and the like. Homer starts getting tired of all these previews and jumps up in front of the screen chanting, "Start the movie!", to the approval of the audience, all except Marge and Lisa (though Bart has no trouble inciting his rage further). The ushers, fearing that this situation could spiral out of control, attack Homer with giant Kit-Kat pieces. Homer runs, pursued by the confectionery-armed ushers. At the park, Mayor Quimby is inaugurating a large metal statue of boxer Drederick Tatum. Homer, turning his head to taunt the ushers, runs smack-dab into the statue's metal fist, which hits him squarely in the mouth. He hits the ground, with a broken jaw, crying in pain.

Later, at the Springfield General Hospital, Dr. Hibbert wires Homer's jaws shut, saying that he will not be able to speak for a while... and not be able to eat solid food. On hearing this, Homer tries to commit suicide, by trying to use a suicide machine. However, being so large, the hypodermic needles only provide sexual release.

At home, unable to eat a steak, he tries to snort it, but ends up feeling more woozy than satisfied. Bart takes advantage of Homer's problem, by asking if he had any verbal objection to him using Milhouse as a human yo-yo. At Moe's, they are visited by Duffman, who is there for the Duff Trivia Challenge, i.e., anyone who answers the trivia question correctly wins a lifetime supply of Duff beer. The question is: "What beverage, brewed since ancient times, is made from hops and grains?" Homer knows but is unable to say it. The other barflies and Moe are too dumb or drunk to know it. Finally, time runs out and Duffman says that the answer is: Beer. Homer is grief-stricken at the thought of having lost the chance of a lifetime supply of Duff.

Homer starts using a little chalkboard to communicate with people while unable to speak. That night, in bed with Marge, he asks her (using the chalkboard) about her day. Pleasantly surprised at Homer's attention, she starts talking about not liking Ned Flanders for wanting to ban culottes from the school, which makes Homer love her more. The next day, when Lisa comes home angry, she finds an attentive ear in Homer and gets a hug from him (although it's only to "cork her cry-hole"). Bart also confides in Homer about his negative feelings about being the class clown. Homer even listens to Grampa's rambling out whatever is on his senile old mind.

Marge decides that, since Homer is so well-behaved, they can chance going to the Springfield formal ball, at the Country Club. Apparently last year's dance didn't go so well, with Homer and a donkey making a mess of the place. At the ball, he is rewarded by an impressed Mr. Burns, who thinks that Homer has correctly guessed that the music playing is from Southern Hungary, when Homer actually wrote "So hungry" on his chalkboard. Homer is complimented for not having laughed at an aristocrat's crazy eye (no matter how hard he tries) and for passing on the appetisers. They even get invited to have dinner with a socialite some day. As they dance, Marge is ecstatic that Homer did nothing to screw up this magical evening. He even passes up an opportunity to horse around with the donkey (from last year). Just then, Dr. Hibbert informs Homer that he can remove the jaw wires the next day. Though Homer is happy, Marge is anything but.

The next day, the jaw wires come off. At Moe's, Homer tells Lenny and Carl about the virtues of just listening. They try it and hear Moe, in the backroom, trying to arrange for an escort. Lindsay Naegle, now a guest booker for the talk show "Afternoon Yak", invites Homer and Marge to the show. During the innuendo-filled show, Marge, with the support of the hosts, pleads with Homer to stop his "wascally ways". Despite the upcoming Demolition Derby, Homer decides to do it for her sake.

The next day, Marge comes home to a clean house, just the way she left it. However, she hears Homer declare that he's going to kill someone. When she investigates, she finds that he is rehearsing a play with Bart. Homer even starts to drink milk, instead of his usual beer, and goes to sleep earlier than usual. However, all this peace and quiet is having an adverse effect on Marge, who starts going crazy with boredom. The demolition derby form flies into her hand, and she decides to give it a try. When she leaves, Homer wakes up and finds that Marge is gone and so is the demolition derby form. He puts two and two together, and heads off to the derby, with the kids in tow.

At the derby, Marge, in her station-wagon, wearing a safety helmet, smashes into another car and feels good about it. However, all good feeling goes down the gutter when a large black SUV crashes into the stationwagon. Homer and the kids show up and see Marge in trouble. Homer has no idea how to save his wife, considering he has given up being reckless. Bart comes up with an idea and calls for a beer-can from a vendor. He opens it, Popeye-style, by squeezing it, till its contents come bursting out and fall into Homer's open mouth. Homer, in a Popeye accent, declares that he is going to save his wife. He rides the same mischievous donkey (from the ball) into the arena. In the meantime, Marge, having spotted Homer, starts gesturing wildly (like Olive Oyl in distress) towards him. The donkey stops, exhausted, and Homer feels that he needs "some fuel for his mule; some gas for his ass". He feeds the donkey beer, energising it for a second, and putting it to sleep immediately after.

Determined to save Marge, Homer runs over to the station wagon and pulls Marge to safety just before the black SUV delivers another crushing blow. Marge, relieved to be alive, decides that though the family needs a live wire, it's not her. Homer comforts her by saying that she's a good wet blanket, the kind he likes wrapped around him. They leave the derby and go home.

The derby announcers recap quickly the episode's highlights and end the show.

Trivia

• This is not the first time Homer has misbehaved in a movie theater.
• This is the first time they acknowledge that there has been (and, in future episodes, will be) more than one Duffman. As the current incarnation enters Moe's, Lenny remarks "I thought he was dead?" Duffman responds he "can never die; only the actors who play him!" This point is further emphasized in the episode "Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play".
• If you look closely at the x-ray of Homer's skull, specifically his brain, you can see the crayon logged in his brain from the episode "HOMR".

Cultural References

• During the gay pride parade, Maggie is pictured holding a balloon in the shape of a pink triangle, an international symbol of gay pride.
• "Afternoon Yak" is an obvious parody of The View.
• Watch for the Popeye parody during the demolition derby, right down to Dan Castellaneta's imitation of the sailor's mutterings, the substitution of beer for spinach, and the movement of Marge's arms similarly to Olive's histrionics.
• The title is a reference to the film Eyes Wide Shut.
• Similar to the Pinky and the Brain short "That Smarts", in which Marge tries to achieve balance in the family by becoming the wacky one, just as Brain used his machine to become the dumb one after Pinky's new intelligence outdoes him.
• Homer getting clocked in the mouth by the fist of a golden statue recalls the fate of an accent-hating bully in an episode of Dexter's Laboratory.

Quotes

• Activists: "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!
  Lisa: "You do this every year! We are used to it."
  Activist: "Spoilsport!"
  
• Duffman: "Duffman can never die; only the actors who play him! OH-yeah!"
• Homer: "Stop the madness! Start the movie!"
  Lisa: "Maybe we should try to calm Dad down."
  Bart: "I prefer to egg him on. Hey Dad, has the movie started yet?"
  
• Drederick Tatum: "Litter is my most treacherous foe. I would like to eat its children."
  
• Marge: "Oh, dear, you can't eat solid foods. Those are his favorites."
  
• Bart: "Milhouse, you ready to imitate that Jackass show?"
  Milhouse: "All those disclaimers made me want to do it more!"
  
• Lisa: "We were playing four-square, and I called no double-taps. And Ralph double-taps. And I said, 'You're out,' and he said, 'I can do a sumbersalt', which has nothing to do with anything!"
  
• Bart: "So, the substitute teacher comes in and says her name is Mrs. Doody, and everyone's looking at me like, 'Take it, Bart, run with it!', and it hits me... I've become a clown- a class clown. And it sickens me."
  
• Marge: "This has been one of the most magical evenings of my life."
  Homer (tries to talk with the wires on): "I'm 'orny."
  Marge: "...I don't know what you said, but I'm sure it was beautiful."
  
• Moe: "Hello? Yeah, I would like to arrange, uh, for an escort, please? ...To where? How 'bout Orgasmville?! Hello? Hello?"
  
• Homer: "I'm gonna kill you!"
  Marge: "Well, so much for the new Homer. What's going on?"
  Bart: "We're rehearsing a play."
  Homer: "Yes, and I was merely reading the title. 'I'm Going to Kill You.'"
  Marge: "Oh... it's just a false alarm."
  Homer: "Yep. Nothing to get excited about."
  Marge: "Well, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."
  Homer: (dramatically, apparently to Bart) "'Professor Van Doren, so good to see you.'"
  Professor Van Doren: (walking in) "Ah, rehearsing a play, I see."
  
• Mr. Burns [seeing 'So Hungry' on Homer's chalkboard]: Yes, the music is from southern Hungary. That's quite an ear. Here, have some money. [deposits an armfull of cash on the chalkboard]