Talk:Ollie Watkins/GA1
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Reviewer: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 13:03, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
Hey I’ll review this. This will be my first review, so please bear with me! I’ll look into this soon. 750h+ (talk) 13:03, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
Comments
Lead section
- When it says "winning the EFL Young Player of the Year award, before departing in 2017 for Brentford.", a comma isn't needed. You can change it based on your own opinion. 750h+ (talk) 00:38, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
- "and being named Championship Player of the Year in 2020." I suggest changing it being changed to "named the Championship Player of the Year in 2020" 750h+ (talk) 03:43, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
Early life and education
- "Oliver George Arthur Watkins was born on 30 December 1995 in Torbay Hospital in Torquay, Devon." It should be rephrased to "30 December 1995 at Torbay Hospital in Torquay, Devon." 750h+ (talk) 03:49, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
- Change the section name to "Early life". "Education" isn't necessary since it is a short section. 750h+ (talk) 03:49, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
Club career
- "Watkins joined Exeter City's academy at U11 level, having previously failed a trial with the club at the age of 9 in 2003." Change the "9" to nine. Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words, per MOS:NUMERAL. 750h+ (talk) 03:53, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
- "He rose through the youth ranks to sign a scholarship deal in 2012 and off the back of scoring 30 goals for the U18 team in its 2013–14 Football League Youth Alliance South West Conference-winning season, he signed a two-year professional contract in April 2014." Long sentence. I suggest changing it to "After rising through the youth ranks, he signed a scholarship deal in 2012. He scored 30 goals for the U18 team in the 2013-14 season, helping them win the Football League Youth Alliance South West Conference. He later signed a two-year professional contract in April 2014. 750h+ (talk) 03:57, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
"He had a fantastic month in March, scoring four goals in six appearances to win the Football League Young Player of the Month and PFA Fans' Player of the Month awards." For neutrality reasons, I recommended changing "fantastic" to "successful". 750h+ (talk) 04:05, 8 March 2024 (UTC)