Six Charlies in Search of an Author

Six Charlies in Search of An Author is an episode of the classic radio comedy, The Goon Show. It was first broadcast on 26th December 1956.

The title is a parody of the play Six Characters in Search of an Author, by Luigi Pirandello. While the plot revolves around the common scenario of Neddie Seagoon being blackmailed by Hercules Grytpype-Thynne and Count Jim Moriarty, its development appears to blur the lines between the writer and the characters.

Plot

Template:Spoilers Ostensibly the plot is that of a book being written by Adolphus "Jim" Spriggs. When he announces "Chapter One: Neddie meets Grytpype-Thynne", Neddie follows with "Good Heavens! I must get to Chapter One!" Grytpype's first line is "Ah, you must be the Charlie I'm supposed to meet in Chapter One."

Grytpype is a "bone specialist". In particular, he and Moriarty have a compromising set of X-ray photographs of two sets of bones, Neddie's and "a lady's". Not only do they want ten pounds sterling by Chapter Ten, but they have "an armed man in the Index!"

Neddie has to find the money to pay them off so he can marry the "beautiful millionairess Gladys Minkwater" in Chapter Eight. He decides to pawn himself at Henry Crun's pawnshop. Crun decides that he is worth ten pounds "as dead weight alone", but Neddie forgets that he must stay at the pawnshop until redeemed. He is sent down to the cellar, where he finds Eccles. Eccles pawned his socks, but has to stay with them as he can't get his boots off.

Neddie uses the ten pounds to redeem himself, but then has nothing to pay off his blackmailers with. In desperation he gets Wallace Greenslade, the announcer, to tell him what happens next. Peeking ahead, Greenslade announces that Grytpype and Moriarty have sent the photographs to Major Bloodnok for safekeeping.

Arriving at Bloodnok's, Neddie finds that the photographs are in a safe, and Bloodnok does not have the combination. Neddie grabs a typewriter, and writes in some tools to help them break in. When Bloodnok asks who will do the work, Neddie writes a sentence making Bloodnok tackle the job. Bloodnok retaliates by writing Neddie into the job. Jim Spriggs appears and offers to write in a new character to help them. Unfortunately it is Wolf-cub Bluebottle. Seeing what he has written, Jim Spriggs decides he needs a holiday.

At first Bluebottle cannot help, taking the request to "blow open the safe" literally. "Just watch me Captain. Puff puff - no, I cannot blow it open..." Bluebottle offers to stuff his licorice in the keyhole, then remembers he has some "silent explosive" that came as a free gift with his "boys' magazine".

They insert the explosive, light the fuse and run out of the room. Neddie suddenly realizes that the explosive is silent. He asks Bluebottle how they will know if the explosive worked. Bluebottle's response is "Well, when you hear nothing, that's it!"

Neddie  : Can't anybody hear it explode?

Bluebottle : Only idiots.

Sound FX : Explosion!

Bluebottle : Did you hear anything, Captain?

Neddie (after a long pause) : No...

Bluebottle : Good. 'Cuz only idiots can hear explosions like that.

Eccles (running up) : Here! What was that big explosion!

Neddie  : So you heard it too?

Bloodnok : No comment.

Going back into the room, they are surprised at gunpoint by Moriarty and Grytpype-Thynne, who had played a recording of an explosion "written in without the author's knowledge". Neddie disarms Moriarty by writing in an empty gun, but Grytpype quickly writes in an escape with the photographs in a speedboat traveling up the Amazon river. At that point Jim Spriggs, the author, appears and demands that they stop interfering with his book. Bloodnok sends him away by writing "...the author turned and left the room!"

Bluebottle, playing with the typewriter, imagines an attack by "Black Claw and his Chinese pirates", ruining their pursuit of the villains. Reaching the banks of the river, they encounter Henry Crun, who tells them "Someone gave Min a typewriter and here I am!" Appealing to the author, they get a happy ending written for them as Neddie marries his fiancée Gladys Minkwater.

Schnorrer : I pronounce you, Neddie Seagoon, and you Gladys Minkwater, man and wife, and leave you to discover which is which!

But Bluebottle still has the typewriter. He writes that Gladys deserts Neddie for him. The show ends with Neddie shouting "Come back! You're too young for that!" and Bluebottle responding "That's what you think! Yee hee!"

Unscripted Moments

When Neddie encounters Grytpype for the first time, he asks the "bone specialist", "What do you want?"

Grytpype : Bones.

Neddie  : I, er, I haven't got any.

Grytpype : Nonsense, you fall down without them.

Neddie  : You'd fall down without them!

Grytpype : You'd fall down without them!

Sellers (giggling) : Take your choice! (both giggle)

Musical Interludes

• Max Geldray : When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob-bob-bobbin' Along
• Ray Ellington : From the Bottom of My Heart

External Links

• Six Charlies in Search of An Author at The Goonshow Depository.
• Transcript