Talk:Solebury School: Difference between revisions

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Multiple Problems

This article demonstrates heavy biased towards Solebury School, and reads like an advertisement for the institution. It bares two scant references of tangential relevance to the article, and the bulk of claims made are unsubstantiated and written in a promotional manner inappropriate for Wikipedia. Memtgs (talk) 23:41, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Revision

I have made some substantial edits to the article to make it appear less like an advertisement and more an encyclopedic source of information. A summary of the changes:

Puffery and embellished terms have been removed. Phrases such as "this was the dream shared by Solebury's four young founders" and "teachers are encouraged to bring their passions for a subject to the students" add little to the article, safe for some romantic idealism. Others, such as "with advanced courses as well as unique electives in every subject," are highly subjective.
I have removed several paraphrasings of Solebury's mission statement which I felt contributed very little, such as: "Solebury School believes in students using all parts of their being - where arts and athletics are regarded as equally important and each has a place in the day," "to provide a challenging college preparatory curriculum that encourages students to explore and develop their individual skills and talents in an informal educational community," "to create an environment of educational excellence that prepares students for college and beyond. In the Solebury community, we strongly value intellectual challenge and academic achievement, creative and independent thinking, mutual respect between students and teachers, deep respect for each individual, and diversity," and so on. These are not informative bits, and can easily be found elsewhere, such as on the school's own website or promotional material.
I have removed lists of classes taught, including AP and honors classes, per the WP:WPSCH/AG#OS. Such information is available on the school's website, and requires constant updating.
I have cleaned up formatting and merged some sections relevant to one another (such as Academics and ESL Program, Activities and Sports).

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 This article demonstrates heavy biased towards Solebury School, and reads like an advertisement for the institution. It bares two scant references of tangential relevance to the article, and the bulk of claims made are unsubstantiated and written in a promotional manner inappropriate for Wikipedia. [[User:Memtgs|Memtgs]] ([[User talk:Memtgs|talk]]) 23:41, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
+== Revision ==
+I have made some substantial edits to the article to make it appear less like an advertisement and more an encyclopedic source of information. A summary of the changes:
+*[[Wikipedia:Avoid_peacock_terms#Puffery|Puffery]] and embellished terms have been removed. Phrases such as "this was the dream shared by Solebury's four young founders" and "teachers are encouraged to bring their passions for a subject to the students" add little to the article, safe for some romantic idealism. Others, such as "with advanced courses as well as unique electives in every subject," are highly subjective.
+*I have removed several [[Wikipedia:Avoid mission statements|paraphrasings of Solebury's mission statement]] which I felt contributed very little, such as: "Solebury School believes in students using all parts of their being - where arts and athletics are regarded as equally important and each has a place in the day," "to provide a challenging college preparatory curriculum that encourages students to explore and develop their individual skills and talents in an informal educational community," "to create an environment of educational excellence that prepares students for college and beyond. In the Solebury community, we strongly value intellectual challenge and academic achievement, creative and independent thinking, mutual respect between students and teachers, deep respect for each individual, and diversity," and so on. These are not informative bits, and can easily be found elsewhere, such as on the school's own website or promotional material.
+*I have removed lists of classes taught, including AP and honors classes, per the [[WP:WPSCH/AG#OS]]. Such information is available on the school's website, and requires constant updating.
+*I have cleaned up formatting and merged some sections relevant to one another (such as Academics and ESL Program, Activities and Sports).