User:Indubitably/Bathrobe Cabal

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BATHROBES  FOREVER

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The Illustrious and Honourable Bathrobe Cabal of Wikipedia Prerequisites The Illustrious and Honourable Bathrobe Cabal of Wikipedia has the following membership requirements: hold allegiance to none but this cabal meet the photo standards below have mild rogue (rouge is a colour) tendencies (admin candidates only) consistently abuse the (semi-)protection of a page in their favour (admin candidates only) place an extraneous "u" into wourds to sound moure British be in good standing with the community and be of legal age in their respective countries (hey, we have to have one serious one!) ALL candidates must submit a photo of them wearing a bathrobe and a cheesy grin† as well as displaying the universal secret BRC greeting gesture Candidates may apply by submitting a request to Lara via email, IRC, or on her talk page. Images are not published by the cabal. Applications subject to rejection... you've been warned. †Approved alternatives to the "cheesy grin" include: show of tongue stud, a look that says "Your mother," a look that says "I did your mother," the deer in the headlights look, or a look that conveys no emotion whatsoever. Robes Bathrobes are provided from each according to their ability, to each according to their need. They must be bathrobes. They may not be: smoking jackets dressing gowns† graduation gowns Choir robes state-mandated apparel invisible robes Jedi uniforms legal regalia robes worn by wizards or other magical creatures. †Note: In some countries other than the U.S., the term "dressing gown" can be used to refer to a bathrobe. In such cases, dressing gowns are acceptable wear. Aims Off-wiki Creation of centers for physical love, so-called Mitfickzentralen (literally "fuckpööling centers") Cancellation of compulsory education Abolition of the 5-O Reduction of the legal voting (and drinking, and consent!) age to 12 years Implementation a maximum age of consent for sexual contact End to the debate over teaching abstinence vs. safe sex by teaching buttsecks through our Fucking for Abstinence campaign Legalization of all drugs while outlawing antibiotics and fluoride Interruption of infomercials with two minute segments of television shows Re-building of the Berlin Wall The introduction of 99 cent coins to save change and defeat psychological pricing Replacement of high-fructose corn syrup in consumer foods and drink with crystal meth On-wiki Permanent full-protection of all user talk pages is a priority Enforcement of 1RR Promotion of IPs to adminship Recruiting more chicks Prohibiting use of the terms straw man, ad hominem, and tenditious Credits The concept for the Bathrobe Cabal, established in 2007, was inspired by this comment from Riana. Page designed by Fetchcomms. - TRANSMISSION ENDS -